A GUILTLESS TWISTED LIE.

2009-09-22T06:46:00.000-07:00

I'm alright now. past are supposed to be behind me and not in my mind. everything that bothers me and interrupts my concentration are gonna get off my mind. (: It's so funny, whatever i'm laughing about. :D

Just rest for a moment. It's OK. Yes, things are crazy, yes, the world is going nuts. Yet, deep underneath the stormy waves, there, in the core of your being, there is pure silence, pure love. And ... it's ... just ... OK.

2009-09-21T05:59:00.000-07:00

All for love a father gave
For only love could make a way
All for love the heavens cried
For love was crucified.

Oh how many times have i broken your heart
Still you forgive if only i ask
And how many times have you heard me pray
draw near to me.

This is more than a song to me, a few sentences that really means to me. After all this happened, i thought with all my heart&soul, All I need is you, God.

forgiveness.

2009-09-17T08:18:00.000-07:00

I can't get it off my mind. I can't concentrate on my amaths. It's all your fault. Go&Die. uhhhhh. Fuck sia. I have forgotten it already. But it came back.

2009-09-17T05:26:00.000-07:00

I'm regretting it.It's all my fault.
It's been years, i forgotten about it until now.

2009-09-12T03:54:00.000-07:00

I wanted to leave my blog to die. But I'm bored and pissed off.
I think my sister is crazy. She woke me up at 10plus today for nothing. ): wth. & i told her the ten on the table is for her and she chatted with me. And she asked for the tissue box and i have no idea where it is. and she lose her temper. I got a crazyyyyy sister.

I had netball friendly with bowen yesterday. and my body is aching all over today. LOL. I fell down and my shoe went off, flew on the floor. =,= quite enjoying actually. But one is enough. :D & pizza lunch with them except jasmine and regina. Dome's service and food is so much better. I miss dome actually, esp the people. I wanna eat the smoked salmon pastaaaaaaa, munchy combi & ice chocolate with gelato. OMG!! :D poor chef, I wonder where she is now. ):

anyway, another 40 or 40+ more days to Olevels. I can't believe I'm kinda counting down. & I'm stress because I DON'T have the stress to study. HAHAHAAH. I'm not looking forward to prelim's results, esp f&n & combined humans. don't even feel like receiving back the paper. But I still gotta get in cp. okay, i change my mind. I gotta buck up. LOL. can someone give me stress? :D

laaaaaaaaaalaaaaaaaaaaaaaalaaaaaaaaaaaalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I don't like you. hmph. I dont like youyouyou. please la, grow up.

2009-09-03T06:28:00.001-07:00

ohmy. i wanna post a picture. but blogger's spoilt. for don't know how many weeks. uh. I'm fucking bored now cus i'm not studying f&n. HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. nahnah.

How I wish my dad is freaking rich, that I don't need to do anything and I can get money to spend everyday. well, who doesn't wish for that. Wishes are stupid.

I miss playing netball.
I miss playing basketball with my primary school peoples. :D
I miss eating watermelon. HAAHAHAH.
I miss the time when I go slacking for almost every night for a month. Fun! :D
I miss the time when WARN get together and play/joke like nobody's business.
I miss suaning wenzhen. Eh, I very long never suan you already. (:
I miss the time when I went fishing with mark and family(w/o babymax yet). Damn funny.
I miss the time when all cousins were still small, innoccent and invented every game we played because we were too bored. when they didn't get into trouble and move everywhere in singapore.
There are so many things I miss. Many wonderful memories.

I miss everyone, everything, everywhere, every now and then~~, except, with you~~.
okay, I gotta wake up now. :D

2009-09-03T06:28:00.000-07:00

2009-09-02T05:07:00.000-07:00

God wants you to know that when the sun rises, it rises for you. Yes, for you. Just for you. Only for you. You are it, everything, the whole universe with all the billion galaxies and stars. The separateness you feel is only a mask you have put on to enjoy this human form. Under the mask, your shape is All. How far can you now feel your Self expand? To your parent?... to your child?... to your friend?... to a stranger on a street?... half way around the globe?

Chinese paper today was bad. I slept. And the compre was omg. wtmf, I'm so gonna be dead. science practical tmr, D: need to be in school by 9.15. and gotta stay until 1.30. wtf laaaaaaaaaa. ): so long can, uh.

2009-09-01T04:39:00.000-07:00

I'm sick. I suspect that i'm having food poisoning. I have a weak stomach uh. ): I finally caught a movie today, with sis and debbie. I dumbly skipped orphan uhhhhhh. ): i have four more exams. siannnn ttm. i dont wanna study anymore.

sosososo much happier, without you.

2009-08-30T07:22:00.000-07:00

Doubt holds you landlocked in paralysis unable to move either way. The time you spent doubting is the time you are not alive. So, rid yourself of the doubt, take that step one way or another, your heart knows what is best, but take it right now.

1 week is over. everything is over. Seriously, that's great.

Ham and egg from subway is the best. :D wooooohoo. i'm craving for subway, island creamery and sushi tei and rum&raisin.

2009-08-27T05:37:00.000-07:00

That's not to say it's an easy purpose, or a convenient one. It might very well seem hard or even impossible, but it only looks that way. The truth is that one day you will look back and see how all the pieces fit together. And how your life has been a complete and utter success.

I had a chat with my primary school good friend. :D or bet friend i forgotten. because i lost contact with them. hahahah. but i think she's my best friend. :D cus i went to her church before. AHHA. i miss them. I never see them for more than 3 years. damn long eh.

3 more papers to go. 7 more days to go.

2009-08-26T06:34:00.000-07:00

Love is the blood of the soul. God wants all beings to have healthy and strong souls, so God created a simple law to nourish the soul: the more you give love, the more you receive love. Remember all the beings you love - people, animals - that you haven't thought of lately. Do not wait anymore, reconnect with them today and express your love.

LOL. Maybe i've been dislike-ing people that's why. irritating.

2009-08-24T06:44:00.000-07:00

What you think of as accidents are simply your conversations with God that you haven't yet been able to understand. But take heart, all happens in God's will and every conversation has deep meaning for you.

I wanna drop combined humans. i think i rather take poa than combined humans. HAHAHA.

2009-08-22T02:05:00.000-07:00

God demands the totality of your being. That you invest all of yourSelf into celebrating the glory and the preciousness of being alive right now, no holding back and saving for later.

I've been posting the god messages from the facebook application in this blog. So, the post you(christina) like. is from god to me. HHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHHAAA. :D
I'm tired from emaths. total sian ttm. But i pass paper 1. so damn happy about it. I passed by 5 marks. 2 test out of 6. means, I passed 2 test out of 6 bloody test! :D:D improvement. :D HOHOHOHOHOHOH. =,=
I'm left with ss, geog, and physics. 3 subjects i hate the most. Geog the mostmost. Because I can't score it. lol. I'm left with tmr. for my ss. and i bet im gonna fail humanities this time again. ): but it's okay. I might pass in olevels. :D

I had macHAPPYMEAL today~ :D I got the hellokitty toy. HAHAHAHA
My parents are crazy. o.O esp my dad. LOL.

ims.

2009-08-21T05:31:00.001-07:00

Are you willing to do that now? Or are you going to wait until all life energy drains out of you and your loved ones who are trying to support you at this very moment? You were not born to follow rules and regulations. Living starts with dreaming. So dream, dream friend, and let dreams show you the path to your bliss.

Today's the start the of prelims. :D
holidays are coming! :D:D:D:D

2009-08-19T07:11:00.000-07:00

True giving happens when you are overflowing from the inside, and cannot help but share. When there is so much love within you that it has to flow to others or you would burst open. There is no thinking involved, no willpower in such sharing. It just flows out. If you have to force yourself to be kind, to love, to feel compassion, you've missed the first step of filling in your own Self with these emotions.

2009-08-09T06:14:00.000-07:00

Daddy treated us pizza hut! :D HAHAHAH. Too bad for my sister, she went out. (: This week was kind of busy. Rushing here and there. I haven't started on my ss, geog, chemistry. I'm so dead i swear. Tmr's a holiday. But
I'm having tuition. AH, & it's weiquan's birthday tmr. HAPPY BIRTHDAY. :D I dont know a shit what they're doing tmr. wtf.

I didn't get to eat with wenzhen this week. ):

But, yesterday, I had great fun! Went to nicole's bbq and we played the game again. :D then me&Christina went off halfway to our cousin's outing. Fucking pekchek with them. Said to go donnie's at orchard. Then that stupid ass say we cannot go. wtf. nevermind, go Kpool. Waited for them for an hour at central. Abi dont wanna go kpool. So, we went for a supper at rk house, then ice cream at a cafe nearby. Reached home at 2plus. -,-

~~It's kind of disappointing that I have to hear your news from an outsider.~~

2009-08-03T02:42:00.000-07:00

My dear cousin, Don, grew up! :D HAHAHAHHAAH. yet, so cute. :D Next up, Mike. LOL.
I'm kind of looking forward to this weekend when this week just started. I can meet up with ALL except debbie and dennis(wth) and we're gonna go for a cousin's outing. It's totally awesome. LOL. Like finally there's something like this, damn cool. And sunday I'm going to meet up with Wenzhen for Swensens. I'm gonna be so poor this week. Uh. ): But it's okay with me. :D

It's time i start to really buck up. 'Cus Prelims is like so close to me. After prelims, Olevels. Okay. I've decided. This shall be the last week I play and study. Starting next week I'm gonna chiong all the way. DON'T ever call me or tempt me to play man. If not I will not get my course and I will commit suicide and come haunt you. HAHAAHAHAHAH. :D

By the way, I bought my book. Yeaaaaaaaaaa. :D That's really great. Absolutely great. :D Like, finally. :)

I'm gonna treasure this week as if I'm gonna die on monday. :D

2009-07-29T07:01:00.000-07:00

I can access to elearning but I cannot open the files. Yeah, like wtf.
Today was effing fun manzsxzxzss. fun ttm. :D Me, Christina, Edward and Weiquan played badminton in the cc. was damn smelly. funny though, Edward won the badminton pro, WQ. HAHAHAA. Then we went home and met again with the others! we flew kite. And it flew up high, dropping down. HAHAHAH. And our picnic was tidbits and drinks. Basically, Me, Christina, Edward, Shiying, Weiquan, Matthew, Zejun and Ahben went to marina barrage for a picnic. We walked there, and a kind soul wanted to send us there in his lorry. Damn funny. we went to the gallery for some aircon and look around because it was damn hot. Then, we went up to rooftop for picnic! :D YeaYea, flew kite, then Matthew and Shiying left. played daidee and flew kite. played around and took many shots. :D fun ttm. LOL. :D. However, Christina's kite went down to the HUGE drain, the reservoir. LOL laaaaaaaaa. freaking funny. Then we made a trip to ToysRus to find kite, but didn't buy in the end. I don't like the material. I'm going kite searching. I bet I'm going back to fly kite again! :D

Yea, afterall my hope came true. It was fun. But I'm very tired now. So, I'm going to study kinematics and sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep soon. :D Yea.
Okay, I'm gonna upload the photos on facebook and kinematics and sleep. :D Bye! :)

2009-07-28T07:47:00.000-07:00

Many Many things happened recently. Not to me but to my friends around me. It didn't really affect me. But still, it somehow affected me. Lol. I'm bullshit-ing here. Anyway, i don't really care. But it pains me to see my friends around me getting hurt. Seriously, teenager is abit no life. Because it's all about friends. Friends, friends and friends. It's still all about trust. What happens when you lose all the trust you deposited in someone you trusted like hell? It's like you lose everything in this world. Okay la, that's for me. Seriously speaking, My trust is not easily earned. (: How to trust people when I don't even know whether you are trustworthy? If you can tell me about other people's secret, I don't really see why you can't tell others my secret. If you can bitch to me about people, I don't see why you can't bitch about me to other people. okay, this is just too sensitive. But, It's kinda true. I can't take it if my friends do all this to me. I might just break down and lock myself up for a week, thinking & reflecting. Luckily, my friends aren't like that. I'd prefer you just tell me right in front of me to telling my other friend and they come or accidentally or whatever to come and tell me. Stop being such a bastard coward that you don't even dare to tell your friends how they are wrong or in what way you dislike she/he. All you can do is bitch your friend. And that's really a bitch. A shameless bitch. Trusting people is not an easy thing to do, and it's kind of stupid actually, to trust people. But I do trust people, like people who know I trust them. HAHA. digest it.

I hate unsolved problems. I hate to leave problems lying down there, useless.
What I'm looking forward to is sunday, when I can go and have a lunch with Wenzhen and rant everything out to her. :D Althought we seldom go out, I still love her. Despite me suaning her and sometimes, I feel guilty if i'm not good to her because she's good to me. HAHA. But she's still my lovable buddy(hey, see this?). LOL. :D

Tomorrow's gonna be a fun day, I believe. It'd better be.

I dont understand why human judge others when they are not perfect themselves.
Although I'm a human, I somehow dislike being a human.

I'm feeling so frustrated that, I really do feel like walking on sand in the evening. :D

2009-07-25T22:48:00.000-07:00

what is the definition of friend?

2009-07-22T06:41:00.000-07:00

Oh, Whatever.
I feel like going to Kbox, play pool, haji for ice-cream, island creamery for ice-cream, Ikea, watch the haunting of the connecticut & Harry potter, & bang wall and die. & do many other fun things.

Suddenly, I feel that you know me the best although we are not close anymore. I'll tell you the truth someday.

2009-07-18T17:34:00.000-07:00

Lost together with my wallet. And not found. ):

2009-07-17T07:42:00.000-07:00

Why must people fake in front of you as if they like you very much that you are their idols. But deep down in their hearts, they hate you as much as god love his people.

Why do people judge others before they even get to know their names.

Why do people act as if they are very happy when they are so damn sad like there's a huge hole in their hearts?

I want my book! FAST! NOW! ):

2009-07-15T06:51:00.000-07:00

I just realised tomorrow is Thursday. Yea, Thursday, not other day. Which means I have F&N tomorrow. And I have to do it in school, I havent even plan what I'm gonna do. And I feel that I'm so dead. Yea, DEAD. I need to do well in B and theory(which I think is quite impossible) to pull up my A and maybe, score in F&N. Okay, I'm gonna plan my eva later and go to sleep. :D

I need to finish up my Chemistry this week. I still have 4 more days including sunday TO FINISH MY CHEMISTRY. Which I find it quite impossible too. ):

My Child Psychology course is what I've been thinking to endure my studying/revising. I need a 9/10 to get into. I need to work to minus 22 marks, around there. LOL. and I'm gonna read the dictionary to improve my english. Yea, read the dictionary when I'm free. It's quite interesting actually. Though there's no storyline. But I get to learn new stuff. :D

I'm gonna HURRY and get my book and close this blog. :D
I realised I need to do alot of things.

We are both the same. But you treat us differently. You treat her better than me. That's why I don't turn up for EVERYTHING. THAT BLOODY SERVES YOU RIGHT. fyou.

2009-07-13T06:44:00.001-07:00

Should I take Child Psychology in NP? Or Baking & Culinary in TP?

2009-07-05T06:20:00.000-07:00

Practical today was tired. At least my chicken wasn't raw. But it taste like shit. I had pepper lunch today! ^^ and I went to see baby. :D He's still so cute. :D

Kinematics tmr. :D

I wanna watch The Haunting In Connecticut and Harry potter! :D:D

有一天醒来脑袋一片空白

有一天睡去梦境却清楚明白

喜欢你多么简单

忘掉你却比永远还难等待

我原来不明白

Feelings come and go.

I'm bored. ):

2009-07-03T20:12:00.001-07:00

.how i wish we could get back like before. I hate time. it changes everything.

2009-07-02T07:04:00.000-07:00

不公平。

2009-07-01T07:00:00.000-07:00

yea. I finally had prata since last year. HAHA, sounded so scary. Okay. Lessons were good. I paid attention although my eyes were like closing. I listened with my eyes closed. :D I went to have prata for lunch with jixiang and ruyi joined us. Laughed like mad and my plate almost flew off. LOL. Walked back to school with jx and walked to 453 bus stop with ry then walked home. LOL. I walked for 7 bus stops today, as in distance is around there. And studied at home with Mark. Tried to do amaths but it seemed to failed. LOL. Olevels is coming and my mother has been cursing me to go ite everyday. wtf. It's okay. I will go child pschology in ngee ann poly. :D If not, f&n in Tp. LOL.

I swear I will buy the plain, with cloth material cover, journal book by next week. lol. i'm like left with 6 bucks for 2 days. i saved 18 bucks! returned 10 to sis and saved 8 for friday. I finally saved money! WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO! A miracle just happened. LOL. I'm crazy due to boredness and F&N. Coursework is back again. omfg. But only for a month. Nevermind. I shall relax this friday and put all my unhappiness on the stick and balls. LOL. :D

走了那么远　发现你不在身边
独自走过了什么　自己都不了解
未来的蓝图应该有你　不该只剩叹息　
只是偶尔泪流不停
坚强的理由　只是自己骗自己
你眼中的恐惧　说什么都多余
付出的一切值不值得　永远不会有答案
只有天知道我有多么爱你
一颗心属于一个人　在爱情里什么算公平
爱的深也伤的深是不是罪灭了自己
一颗心属于我自己　爱情里找不到公平
而当你最后选择了逃避　我学会不公平
坚强的理由　只是自己骗自己
你眼中的恐惧　说什么都多余
付出的一切值不值得　永远不会有答案
只有天知道我有多么爱你
一颗心属于一个人　在爱情里什么算公平
爱的深也伤的深是不是罪灭了自己
一颗心属于我自己　爱情里找不到公平
而当你最后选择了逃避　我学会不公平
一颗心属于一个人　在爱情里什么算公平
爱的深也伤的深是不是罪灭了自己
一颗心属于我自己　爱情里找不到公平
而当你最后选择了逃避　我学会不公平
本来就不公平

2009-06-30T04:09:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired. I wanna play pool. I wanna go Kbox. I wanna buy a plain, with cloth material cover, journal book. I wanna have haji lane icecream. I wanna go crazy. :D I wanna read the novel, The Notebook because the movie is nice! :D A very old movie. Anyway, I'm back to drawing already, again. :D HoHoHo. O levels coming soon. uhhhhhh. ):

Anyway, I'm happy when I'm drawing. :D

I hate myself for letting you passby.
Draw, Drawn, Drew. LOL.

Netball Camp is FUN! :D

2009-06-25T23:51:00.000-07:00

Netball Camp rocks man. :D We had fun games organised by Karen and Eline. YAY! Dinner at ChompChomp and they went back amk while I walked home. :D Then I was scared to walk the tunnel so ask mummy to come down to fetch me. HAHA. Called Christina and chatted because there's nobody and the houses don't switch on their lights! ): uh. Reached home, wash up, use comp, and laid on my bed from arnd 12 to 2 plus. Staring at the ceiling. Wtf. I'm so tired but my mind just can't sleep. I'm gonna eat sleeping pills soon. ):

I'm gonna buy new specs! :D hoho. And new contacts because no more already. :D Best thing is, I don't need to pay. HAHAHAAAHA.

Why aren't humans perfect?
我会有那种反应是因为我在乎你. 我会那么想是因为你所给我的感觉. 难道你什么都不知道吗?
Aiyah! So pek chek. ):

為何要無話可說　才懂沉默比爭吵難熬? 為何要在疼愛的時候才對我說離開我都是為我好?

2009-06-24T05:56:00.000-07:00

omg. I swear I'm going to this place. SOON! :D I'm really gonna save up a HUGE sum of money and go for a world tour. Visit every single country (but not China) and I can shop there till I'm broke! HOHO. :D Okay. I should stop dreaming. :D

I'm so excited for netball camp tomorrow! yea! tomorrow! I miss having fun with them esp the chalet! :D I thought netball camp is on Wednesday. In the end is on Thursday, made me change my tuition for nothing. LOL.

Anyway, today was great. Slacked at the mama shop there after studying at longjohn. not really studying, more of my bestfriend guailan me. ): When he see my face, he just have to say something to suan me uh. And make me scold him, then he happy. Lame luh. Slacking there was fun. We keep laughing. :D HAH. Until christina need to go off and I'm home so early. Boring. ): YAY. I still love me! :D

你给我的感觉就像一阵旋风. not _ anymore. More of _. Seriously, don't you feel anything? Or are you just too 'busy' to bother. Or is it too minor for you to bother.

aiya. I don't know what the hell you want. And I'm not gonna let that bother me! Not anymore. fyou. foff. fooooooooof.

2009-06-22T20:37:00.000-07:00

I'm freaking tired because I can't sleep. LOL. I've got a damn scary dream that said i got stomach cancer or something. And I need to get the omg surgery. I'm scared of needles. And my dream wants me to get a knife cutting up my stomach or skin or whatever? wtf? And the doctor showed us a video which shows us how they clean my intestines or whatever that is which is hell ass disgusting. It is omfg and I'm crying inside. LOL? The doctor didn't give me painkillers or whatever. And I can even see the doctor taking the surgery knife on me. Before his knife could touch me, my phone vibrated! HAHAHAHAAHAH. thank the person who msg-ed me manxzszxszxszxszxsxzx. HOHO. if not i could be crying in my dream as if my whole family died. ;X LOL. thank god i don't dream talk or whatever that is. because I've been scolding the damn doctor in my dream and I hope my sister don't hear them. LOL. I'll get a tight slap from her. ;X

I've got tuition later. ):
And NETBALL CAMP TMR! :D so looking forward to it manxszxszxsszxsxszxsxszsx.

Yea. My whole family had dome on fathers' day. cost me a bomb man. but it's okay. It's all about the fun we had. LOL. Pan and his dad joined us, grandmama, and Christina too. :D i can't go for dme closing. ): Hope that my dad allows. I miss Kelly! I wanna see her baby. because her baby's called Alicia too! :D:D AHAHHAAH.

你想要的, 我却不能够给你我全部. 我能给的, 却又不是你想要拥有的. 为你付出那种伤心, 你永远不了解.

2009-06-20T22:13:00.000-07:00

我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天.

Rum Raisin, Strawberry Cheesecake, Lychee Martini & Nutella. ♥

2009-06-19T08:18:00.000-07:00

I had ice creammmmm~ yea. Ice cream at Haji lane! But there isn't lychee martini ): so I had rum raisin & strawberry cheesecake. NICE! WOOOOS. I'm so happy because I had my ice cream. HOHO. next stop, island creamery. Rum Raisin, Strawberry Cheesecake, Lychee Martini & Nutella. ♥ But I prefer haji lane ice cream. Island creamery had Tiger (the beer) flavour ice cream which is so disgusting because I don't like tiger. HAHA. I prefer wine to beer. :D cocktails are still the best. :D :D omg. I feel so high now. xD

HOHOHO! LOL.

omg. you are such a bastard. :/

My own shop.

2009-06-15T05:41:00.000-07:00

I feel like going to island creamery or haji lane for ice cream~ because I'm not feeling great, I'm feeling damn lousy. Omg. Rum raisin, lychee martini and nutella. omgomgomg. I can eat for the whole night! 100000000000 scoops. until I'm fine. But it's close now, i guess. hah. Maybe i should be an 'ice-cream maker/creator' then i open myshop selling my own created ice-cream, cakes and drinks esp. Cocktails, yes definitely. Then i can make ice cream and cakes at home and eat them whenever I'm down. omg. Maybe, this 'dream' will come true. HOHO. But, if this depends on my F&N grade, I don't think it will come true. uh huh. ): okay. nevermind. i should find other 'dreams'. :D

兩個人的回憶.
Ended just like that? I'm not happy about it. yea. I'm not, definitely confirm 100% chopchop not happy. But what can i do? nothing. uhhhhhhhh. ):

2009-06-14T07:19:00.000-07:00

Our usual swing. :D

I wanna watch ghosts of girlfriends past, Dance! Subaru, Land of the Lost and I watched Drag Me To Hell. freaking disgusting and funny. :D :D

I don't like my mommy because she is bias! and i can't stand it if she's in the same room as me every minute. Because she is naggy and don't give me money! poooooooooooooooooof. ): Sucker!

But I love her because she bring me to shopping. :D HAHA.

StudyStudyStudy. ):

'Cause everyone needs a friend to hold
When it's cold outside
And there's no place to go
Everyone needs a friend to hold
All alone I cried
There was no place to go
I remember when nobody cared
But you

2009-05-31T23:47:00.000-07:00

Chinese Olevels wasn't as hard/easy as i thought. heh. :D i find it like any other normal Chinese paper. LOL.

Ohmy. I just hope that i can go and study till 9 plus 10 because, my mother is omfg nagging me about my results. Feel like going to her face and say, so do you think i care? LOL. But I'm not that rude la. Just have the intention. ;X heh. She's omg noisy. I'll have peace if she wasn't at home. But the fact that she is just make me feel like going to bed and sleep till tomorrow morning. And I'm sure she will be by my bed calling me up and study. Studying alone just turns me off. I won't study if nobody around me is studying. So, i won't be studying in class. HAHA.

It's true that whatever is broken, mended afterwards, will still have scars or whatever that is. The scars to remind everyone why it is broken and be on guard of the person who broke it. Humans really forgive but never forget. Although they may seem they forgotten, surely they are still remembering it. I still hope we can be what we used to be. But whatever we did to each other, I'm always remembering it down in my heart. I'm just being a human being. I mean, I'm one. But seriously, we can never be what we used to be. Human changes as time goes by, as their 'environment' changes. I agree I changed. That's my problem, I don't mean I'm perfect now, but at least I'm being who I am. Maybe my change got to do with my actions that you have never seen me doing it before, I'm doing it now. That's why I've changed. Aiya. I'm still sad over the 'I changed' thingy because everyone is telling me that. LOL. And I'm still sad over whatever has happened and i still don't understand why it happened to me/us. ); I know it's no use crying over it or whatever. But I can't do anything with you being like that. Things are just falling apart. I'm too tired to care about it.

Love is patient, Love is kind, It does not envy, it does not boast. It is not rude, it is not self seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.It always protects, It always love, always perserve.These three remains, Faith, Hope and Love. But the greatest of all is Love.

It's not a clique after all.

That is why i hah believed in God and not humans.

Finally, the quiz in facebook is true.

If given a chance, you wish that you could go back in time, to a by-gone era
where there's no such thing as computers, cell phones, or microwaves. You prefer
life at a snail's pace and you envision yourself sitting on a verandah, drinking
a mint juleps while soaking up the sun and watching the beautiful world while
away ...

So i said a little prayer
Hope my dreams will take me there.
Where the skies are blue, to see you once again,
My Love.

The days we had, the songs we sang together.

2009-05-31T04:30:00.000-07:00

I heard the song, My Love by westlife. And I thought of Me, Mark, Abi, Mike, Don and Pan used to sing this song at the Orchard House. HAHA. Yea, it's an old song.

Yesterday wasn't as fun as the estate day. Because I everything also sian diao. lol. Anyway, i still prefer estate day. :D

It's Olevel Chinese tomorrow. Every Secondary students except the Sec 4s are holiday-ing. How I wish I'm in Sec 3. I don't want Olevels.

I'm reaching for the love that seems so far.

To hold you in my arms.
To promise you my love.
To tell you from the heart,
You're what I'm thinking of.

2009-05-29T19:41:00.000-07:00

Yesterday night was so sucky. My dad sounded like I'm hopeless. Seriously, i felt so guilty. L1R4 29. Even if I can get into a poly, which course can I go? I can't even take child psychology. I might as well don't study. My results is worse than my progress report. A few months left to Olevel.

I don't see the problem's solution.

2009-05-28T06:13:00.000-07:00

Class was fun today, quite. Had a talk during Geography. We had a talk after school. And I'm having a talk with netball girls with the principal, finally. Why am i having so many talks? LOL. Life been having 'problematic' these few days. like here got problem, there got problem. Recess time is the only peaceful period. :D

I did this quiz on facebook,

You were born on 29 April 1993, Thursday.
POSITIVE : Hardworking, hate being disturb while working and ambitious. Good in managing and planning her financial.
NEGATIVE : Easy to hurt people's feeling as she speak vulgarly, full of desire and aggresive. Easily like someone even she already married, but not easily falling in love. Easily caught by inducement until lost judgement which is good or bad. Early marriage she's obedient, as the time pass by, she'll change.

It was so untrue! I'm not hardworking, infact, I'm lazy. :X I'm not ambitious and I'm VERY EXTREMELY bad in managing and planning my financial. I'm always wondering where all my money went. HAHA. I don't speak much vulgarities, xD because I dislike people scolding me vulgarities. But I do change as the time pass by. Like who don't? hah. :D

There's still more to it.

If you call me today
I'll say that I'm fine
But I bet you can tell by the tone of my voice
It's just a lie
You knew what you had
You still walked away leaving me in this mess
My love for you is deep and meaningless

2009-05-27T04:50:00.000-07:00

Okay! I've decided to quit Restaurant City because it's getting boring. LOL.
School was boring because my best friend didn't come to school, nobody to bully. hah. So me and Christina sort of rotted. Until we played heart attack with Matthew, Kejun and Zejun. Their reaction and the high-ness was funny and I keep laughing. Then, had the boring maths and geography. i got 11/20! I didn't fail, i didn't get ONE! :D

Oh, Christina dreamt that we went drinking again. The same group i think. She dreamt that the two of us drank Lychee Martini!, the rest i don't know. HAHA. omg! i really do wanna have it because the ice cream is nice, Rum&Raisin is my fav! :D anyway, she said that it's sweet and we drank a lot of Lychee Martini and we weren't drunk! LOL. maybe it's just fruit juice. But i wanna have cocktail one day. :D And the place we went, in her dream, was very cool. and her dream was damn dramatic. LOL. If only i can have this kind of dream, it will be damn fun. :D

We went to hub and help Weiquan buy the band. :D Then we went to buy food and ate at the hole. Slacked a while there and we went to the same place. Passed Weiquan his paper and everything. Then swinged. :D I didn't study today again. Argh. Wanted to go see Don but he wasn't there. ): Went home. :D

I miss Romeo&Remi. I miss going to Sakae Sushi and Ikea with Jasmine! I miss having my hair brown because i think the colour is dropping off and i don't see brown in my hair! ): LOL.

I need to save money.

I don't feel like going momentum anymore.

250509 0530 ♥

2009-05-25T05:58:00.000-07:00

250509 0530 ♥

Alicia, Christina & Weiquan. BFF♥.
LOL. yay. i have a male best friend. HAHA.

Alicia's having slight fever and her nose is blocked. ):
WTH! ): i felt like vomiting. ): argh!

next monday is Olvl chinese! omg. i'm excited but not afraid. LOL. :D

2009-05-22T22:29:00.000-07:00

udc yesterday. (: was not fun at all. because i had to stand in front of the chair and jump and jump. uh. went straight home to bathe and change. :D and i watched boys over flowers. LOL. I'm late but not the latest. hah. We bought the tickets to Night At The Museum 2 and went to arcade. And we were almost late for the movie, LOL. Rushed back to the theatre. Christina, Me, Weiquan, Matthew, Edward, Basil, Shenglon, Zejun, Leonard, Nelson and siying. Nicole was late. The show wasn't that nice that i thought it will be. Wasted my 6bucks. LOL. Night At the Museum 1 is so much better. But little parts are funny. (:

We went to 422 to wait for Nelson and Leonard to come. took photos to kill time. HAHA.

Edward and Matthew

Edward and Matthew

Basil, Zejun, Weiquan, Edward & Matthew

Basil, Zejun, Weiquan, Edward & Matthew

Basil, Zejun, Weiquan, Edward, Matthew, Me & Nicole

Basil posing. LOL.

Basil and his beautiful wife, edward.

Basil and his ugly mistress, weiquan and beautiful wife, edward. LOL.

Basil & Matthew

Nicole's FAKE eyelashes. LOL.

We took idk what bus to idk where and wait for bryon. took photos and 3 funny videos. then we played 5 10 15 again. this game is damn new in my class. We played that everyday. HAHA. and i'm the first who got forfeit thanks to Weiquan. ): i went to an aunty at the bus stop.

ME: Hello! today is my birthday. (which is not true) can you congratulate me? [i took out my hand and wanted to shake hands with her]

Aunty: oh okay, and she shook hands with me.

and it's Basil's turn LOL. he went to another aunty at the bus stop and asked where is the pokemon centre. LOL. But the person ignored him. sad. LOL.

Matthew

Nelson

Edward.

Leonard

Weiquan

Christina

Nicole.

Basil. lol.

Nicole & Me.

Me & Christina.

Went to estate. We walked and walked and walked for idk how long. here and there. Because we got lost. LOL. Went home much earlier than before because of my dad. And when i reached home, he was asleep. WTH right. like wasted. urgh. i thought he will scold me or something. Then he was like fine, as if nothing happened, this morning. i rather he scold me la. wth. Wasted my mood. LOL.

A group photo without Christina because she was taking the photo. LOL.

Anyway, i enjoyed the day with the people. ♥ly people. :D

2009-05-16T07:20:00.000-07:00

i miss having fun for the WHOLE day.
i miss playing for a week.
i miss sitting beside Christina and Jasmine. LOL.
i miss babyMAX.
i miss the feeling that you gave me.

i felt it once. but not anymore. not again. it is too real. for me to believe it.

i don't feel like having o levels this year. ):

2009-05-10T20:59:00.000-07:00

Finally, i met don yesterday afternoon. :D with pan and my sister. miss him so much. ;x saw his pretty mummy. and we went HOG together. :D funny him.

Then i went home. realised i didn't bring my keys. WTH. called my dad, and he's just at the carpark.. HAHA. then went home. and out again. Went mac study. LOL. i did emaths. :D Went home at 11.30. sleeeeeeeeeeep. :D

Exams are like ending SOON! :D

it's been a year, i'm so guilty that i didnt go for the anni.

2009-05-04T06:22:00.000-07:00

I feel like getting myself ~~drunk~~ because I am damn sad now. ): I don't know why I'm feeling sad. Actually it's that i'm not feeling happy and i'm feeling empty in my heart. okay. I'm having moodswing. fine. Attitude-ded everybody I see. I think. sorry. I just feel like scolding somebody and suan-ing somebody. HAHA.

I tried to make things better. Pretending everything is okay.

2009-05-03T23:56:00.000-07:00

I handed in my F&N evaluation. i completed it laaaaa. so happy. :D

I had a very crappy chat with weiquan yesterday damn funny. He really can crap a lot. LOL.

and i'm so lazy to post the sentosa pictures so, it's in facebook. go take a look, girls. :D

Today was fun! :D

2009-05-03T04:45:00.000-07:00

Omg. i'm so not like me this weekend. ;x
Because,

i went out in the middle of examinations when i am supposed to be studying. But i don't regret it. i guess.
i did something that i thought i will not do and i'm not supposed to. ;x
i started my F&N today when i am supposed to be handing it in tomorrow.

i don't know what happened and all. but it was fun. Everything was fun. especially the 406girls outing. yea.

And i'm stuck at F&N. omg. omg. omg.

2009-05-01T18:19:00.000-07:00

I FINALLY got my BURBERRY BRIT!!! :D:D thanks mingli jiejie and my sister! :D:D:D:D:D OMG.
Unlike my mommy who didn't keep her promise. hmph.

ohyeaohyea, I'm going out with the 406girls! later. :D so happy. ;x
HAHAHAHAHA.

babyKYLER is still so cute.

i'm SIXTEEN!

2009-04-29T05:34:00.000-07:00

English Mid-Year paper tomorrow. OMG.
thanks everyone for all your wishes, the surprises and presents. :D love you people. (:

so looking forward to:
- 1 May to go godmama's house. see babyKYLER.
- 2 May to go out with 406 girls. :D
- 15 May my mid-year LAST paper. WOOTs. :D
- 16 May our picnic. :D sorry to postpone.

and i'm so not looking forward to 29 May because my dad wants my mum to quit her job, that's the last day she's working. From that day onwards, i've got to have all her naggings. omfg. i'm gonna go out everyday maybe study(LOL) and go home late. so not gonna be at home. ): i can't even sleep. ):

yea. sooooooooooooooo sad.

I Miss BabyMAX! ):

2009-04-25T18:22:00.000-07:00

Went to Utopia 17 pub yesteday evening for My cousin's don't-know-what. Yea. He got married. The first in my generation, OMG. HAHA. And i think that's the party or something, no idea. anyway, i went with my grandmama, mark, christina and her parents. talked on the bus and in the pub. Called my 'friend' (the one who 'harassed' nicole) and disiao-ed her using mark's phone. Damn funny. We said, we are at pub now. Very lonely. Do you want to join us? LOL. And she asked where are you? Omg. sound so despo.

Took photos with Christina OhOhOh! LOL. The unlucky cousin. ;x

We took photos with mike! LOL. I love his singings manszxszsxzsxzsx. One Fine day, all cousins shall go kbox~! sing sang sung. Then we shall go ton-ing. Somewhere. Over the rainbow. :D

Took photos with debbie and sylvestor. debb!debb!debb! ;D

Me and Christina Oh~

They pool-ed. We sat around, talk, took pictures, sang songs, played 5 10 15. drank tiger. ;X not nice~ i wanted to drink cocktail uh! :X but i didn't because they never give and my dad is there. and they gave us coke, green tea then tiger. so, we drank. i almost vomited and i don't know why. My face is not red and i'm not drunk. Ohmy.

There's school tomorrow! F&N! WHOOTS. i'm not havin practical. :D:D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NICOLE♥!

2009-04-24T06:18:00.000-07:00

School was fun today. :D Celebrated Karen's birthday during recess. i bluffed her to the study corner that we are having a meeting. LOL. we sang song for her and she cut her cake. omfg. her cake looks like earthquake after having cut by her. But i didnt really have it because the butter/flour or whatever stinks. anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KAREN!

Maths was a free period! ^^ was out of the classroom talking to ethel. Then i went back to class and out again with jasmine. The teacher didn't say anything. lol. So, i was out for the whole lesson. ;x

I'm going shopping with my sister tomorrow! Gonna shop for schoolbag which i have said for a month and yet i have not buy it. ;x And my pressie too. :D:D Then go for my cousin's buffet. omg. I'm so gonna see that girl, take a photo and show my sis. ;x LOL. she's not going, my aunt is not going. SO SIAN! ): but i think i'll have fun there. ;)

i'm looking forward to tomorrow, Tuesday, Wednesday and 2ND OF MAY! :D:D

And the principal read the email and wants to see us. OMFG. but i'm actually looking forward to it. (:

2009-04-22T06:52:00.000-07:00

Yay! I don't have to worry about my contact lenses again because my dad's giving me as my present. He wanted to give me money but i rather have contact lense. Because i will spend the money away. ;x HAHA. And i hope he would hurry and buy his handphone so i will get a treat! ;D i finally managed to save some money. But i'm gonna spend them in he weekend. omg. ;X

Dome is closing because the contract is ending. Sadded. My dear chef is going other outlet. Kelly went to give birth and her baby girl is called Alicia! Same name! :D:D My friend is going off. ): Aunty Karen is going other outlet too. ): I miss them despite working for only two months. ):

School was quite fun today. Funnyfunny. i wrote only 1 sentence for geog test. Same as eeyer who had the same name as me! LOL. i wrote a paragraph at first. But mine was totally different from Jasmine. ;x so i tore the paper off. and wrote a sentence. Then MrGoh came up and we had to hand in. LOL. Luckily, it's continuous. (:

My aunt flew to Japan again. Omg. I wanna go!

Looking forward to tuesday! ^^

2009-04-21T05:20:00.000-07:00

I am like studying acids, bases and salts now. Seriously, i hate emaths. Emaths test today confused me like hell. wth. i want amaths. ):

i need my own life. i need a breathe. i just wish you people are not in front of me whenever i open my eyes because seeing you people makes me feel sick.
Go away.

2009-04-19T07:42:00.000-07:00

omg. i can't believe _____ actually sent an email to principal. i wanna laugh and at the same time when i read the email i felt heartbroken. 3 years and 4 months in netball. The first year was like omg. i feel like quiting because of the seniors. They don't like us and we don't know why. We had to stayback and 'reflect' almost every trainings, like wth is that for. But still we did. Got scolded by two batches of seniors. One after another. but i still remained for don't know what reason.

Now, netball is closing down/closed. i think this school is ______. CCAs are for students to relax and play. but to this school, CCAs are to win prizes and honours for them. What are the uses for those? wipe your ass? So what if netball does not bring any medals or trophies for you? These are not important. I found my passion for netball here. I found my lovely teamates here, wonderful friends and a team that is bonded as one. We are a family. I learnt wonderful stuffs that this omg school can never ever provide and the importance of my teamates. I don't care if other CCAs were to insult us or anything, win more trophies than us. Because they don't have the strong love between us. I have it, netballers have it and you guys don't.

I have the memories of the stupid acts and funs we had. We slacked and when coach came, we quickly ran out and warm up. When, coach is not here, we trained and slacked and played dog and bone, halfcourt. When we laughed in longjohnsilver on saturday and that stupid group shh-ed us. When we shared funny stuffs and laughed together. I had the fun. Enjoyed it and i will forever remember it. It is not a good feeling when your family is like gonna split, does it?
but still, thank this school for closing netball now and not earlier. Because, at least i have this family of netballers. (: D-NETBALLERS DO ROCKS!

i'm gonna miss them. ):

2009-04-18T05:52:00.000-07:00

NETBALLERS ROCKS! :D

No more netball. No more trainings. But netballers are always there. (:

I got sunburnt from spring carnival. That's my 'thanks for coming' gift from spring carnival. LOL. I got slapped by the GS from Serangoon. ): Wtf. But it's not really pain now. hahah. I had my fun there, with the netballers. (: We did a big card for ms connie and hahaah. took quite a lot of pictures and spent a lot of money on drinks. msHo treated us macbreakfast. :D So nice of her.

After the carnival, we went to suntec and bought a cake for regina. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, REGINA! i bought a lighter because we have none. Then, we went to LongJohnSilver in MarinaSquare for lunch. I put the lighter there and forgotten to get it back. and when i went to get it back, the group of boys that are gonna sit at the place saw and said i smoke. Wtf. Got lighter means smoke meh? no brains. Have the same mentality as teachers and old people.

We walked around after that, slacked, and came home. i wanted to study for geog test. but i ended up watching Hotel For Dogs in my sister's lappy. OMG. 10plus more days to midyear. ): But, the show Hotel For Dogs is really nice. LOL. If you are a dog-lover. (:

"Smile like a sunflower and the whole world smiles with you!"

if you feel i have changed, i'll say whatever right in front of your face. ;x but you have changed too. ___________ counts i know. so what, you think i care? you people never cared for me. only cared if i have _______. you people said it does not matter. are you sure? i don't mind losing you if i have to. seriously, i don't need you.

I wanna cut my fringe. So, we netballers are gonna cut bangs! ;D

2009-04-17T05:55:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is our last 'official' day to see ms connie. And we're stepping down, obviously netball is like closing down. Ms connie is not coming back, unless this dumb school is re-opening netball. And i'm having spring carnival tomorrow. ): We did the board, and had dinner at the 'hole' with ethel, weisi and minji. slacked. LOL. it's fun and funny. I LOVE NETBALLERS.

zero commitments.
why do i care?
who can answer my whys?

2009-04-16T04:55:00.000-07:00

I hate emaths. I prefer amaths. I cannot concentrate in emaths. I will sleep. Not really sleep but stare at space. hah. Tomorrow's training is cancelled. (: HAHA HAH! happy.

i took this with wenzhen on the last caregroup i attended.
and.
this is so omg cute! it's baby max. when i went hougang to go cycling with them at east coast. He is so excited that he's going out. and he had a bloody $150 set of Burberry clothes, no shoes, from his aunt. OMG. he's like less than a year old. But he's wearing poney now, haha. i love the Burberry pants!

i actually took it with my sis. But her face was cut, obviously too big to squeeze in. so, i cropped half of her face.

pause, stop going for now.

Mercy triumphs over judgement!

2009-04-15T05:22:00.000-07:00

omgomgomg. my leg is damn pain now. i had muscle-cramp AFTER training. I dont mind the pain. but it's after training. wtf. Training killed me today and my leg is still in pain now. wtfff. It's like there's a hand squeezing it and it's gonna make it pop. Like what the hell. So disgusting.

I had fun in shool today. Thank God.
i decided to.

everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that god desires.

2009-04-14T04:28:00.000-07:00

if i am going into the exam hall with my brain now, i'm sure i'll fail every subject. omg.
~~backsliding.~~
I SHALL NOT BE TEMPTED BY ANYTHING AND ANYONE.

When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. James 1:13-15

2009-04-13T06:35:00.000-07:00

Once again, i felt God's presence at Easter Service strongly. And i know i can't live without God. The song Why by Nicole Nordeman, played at caregroup when i last visited, touched me although i heard of this song thousands of times before. I was glad Wenzhen asked me to go caregroup with her, which i am supposed to go every week. And i also don't understand why my dad allows me to go also to Easter Service. God's way. Thank God.

22 more days to Mid-Year, that's what the Quadrangle says. it sounds fast. And, i have not prepared a shit. not even one. been cancelling tuitions because i'm tired. i had Chinese Oral exam today. turns out pretty well. thank God.

i need discipline, God.

We rode into town the other day
Just me and my daddy
He said I'd finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide
We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man that my dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes
So I said daddy why are they screaming
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is he dressed in that bright purple robe?
I'll bet that crown hurts him more then he shows
Daddy please can't you do something?
He looks as though he's gonna cry
You said he was stronger then all of those guys
Daddy please tell me why?
Why does everyone want him to die?
Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And daddy said I should go inside
Somehow he knew things would get stormy
Boy was he right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something he had to hide
So after he left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross
And it said father why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for my clothes?
This crown of thorns hurts me more then it shows
Father please can't you do something?
I know that you must hear my cry's
I thought I could handle a cross of this size
Father remind me why?
Why does everyone want me to die?
When will I understand why?
My precious son
I hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe you in robes of my own
Jesus this hurts me much more then you know
But this dark hourI must do nothing
Though I've heard your unbearable cries
The power in your blood
Destroys all of the lies
Soon you'll see past their unmerciful lies
Look there below See the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell you why
She is why you must die